To ride or not to ride

I got my bike insurance renewal bill today. It's $275 and due Feb 10. I have never asked Rich for money and it would take allot more than bike insurance to get to that point. I have a little set a side that I have been using for my bills and my share of the household responsibilities. My dilemma, pay the insurance and hope I get a job...drop the insurance and ride on the back all summer. If I don't find a job soon, the little bit that I have will be gone real quick.

I know it's not easy for Rich to have me on the back since I've gained weight. Until I was well into my 40's I was under weight. I had an under active thyroid, worked in a factory, and was very active. I eventually had a complete hysterectomy, quit smoking, advanced to the office, my last thyroid test...three years ago...showed that my thyroid is tired of working so hard and is slowing down. My exercise now consists of housework. I spend most of my day looking for work or studying. I did manage to drop 18 lbs. as of Oct and managed to keep it off through the holidays. HIP, HIP, HOORAY! No pun intended. Years ago, he said he didn't even know I was on the back of his bike. Last summer, I could tell that there were times when he was struggling with me on the back. Even though he's not a big man, he is allot stronger than he appears but, I do weigh more than he does and that has to be hard for him. I remember when I had him on the back when I was allot smaller and it was not the easiest ride ever. For a laugh, check out the link below. He truly does have a sense of humor. http://anmijumi.blogspot.com/2009_12_01_archive.html

I know that there are worse things than not riding my own and there are allot of women that don't have there own. Thing is, I have worked very hard all my life...since I was 14 as a car hop at the Frosty Mug Drive-in. Even before that I was doing laundry, ironing cloths, baby sitting, and delivering papers...anything I could do to help my mom with food or utilities and buy my own cloths. My father died when I was four and my mother was injured when I was ten. We were definitely poverty level. We had most of our holiday meals at the Salvation army and our Christmas presents came from there too. This was the extent of welfare my mother would except...which I am very grateful for...even with no income, I still drop all my change into their buckets when ever I see one.

I had kids early in life, dropped out and put my education on hold. My ex never supported me going to school and when I was offered a promotion as an operator, he had a fit. He didn't like the idea that I would have to go on a different shift for a month for training. He worked at the same company and liked being able to keep tabs on me. I chose to take the training and it made for a very unpleasant life at home. After my divorce, when I met Rich and moved in with him, he supported my education. He teased and said that he always wanted a woman who could support him in the manor he could become accustomed to. Jokes on him!!! He will soon be supporting me. Point is, I have never been without a job and this hurts.

I started a "chart of applications." I built a spread sheet that lists all the places I have applied with the name of the company, position, date, and a date when I will call them to inquire about my resume. I also have a column for outcome. So far the outcome column shows;

• Schedule conflicts with school...keep in mind that I scheduled school at night and Saturdays so I could work
• I don't speak Spanish
• The position has already been filled
• They want someone with a Bachelors Degree
• I am over qualified
• I don't have switchboard or receptionist experience
• And the standard line..."We have chosen to hire someone who's job skills better match the position."

I'd like to know who wrote that line, I have heard those exact words numerous times.

Half the time when I call to check the status of the job, I don't get passed the receptionist and when I do, I go straight to voice mail...what I call, never land, because it's the final...NO.

I have thought of moving someplace where the unemployment rate is not so bad and coming home for the weekends but, that would put an end to school. I think that if I can just get that Associates Degree, I might stand a better chance at a better job.

I did get an email from one of the temp services asking for more info...my minimum wage requirements, best way to contact me, my schedule, how many miles I am willing to drive, and if I am willing to take temp positions. I emailed them back and within hours I had an email telling me that I have been placed with a recruiter and she would like a face to face interview. Friday I have an interview. Hopefully this will turn into something.

On a more fun note, some friends asked us to go for pizza and then go to the boat last Saturday. We went and I left what little cash I had in the car and only took my ID. I decided to just have fun watching everyone else. Not that I'm a gambler anyway. On the rare occasion that we go to a casino, I only take $20 with me. Rich never gambles but he handed me $20 bucks and told me to have some fun with it. I turned the $20 into $110 and gave him a $70 ticket to hold onto, telling him that was going home with us. I played with the rest giving it right back to the casino. At the end of the night, I cashed in the $70 ticket and tried to split it with him, he would only take the $20 he originally gave me. I came out with an extra $50. That will go towards groceries this week.

It's amazing what you can do without, when you have no income. I used to bring home over $800/wk and it seemed like I never had enough. As soon as I was laid-off I took my 6 weeks vacation pay and my income tax and paid off my bike. While on unemployment, I cut back on my spending and and put more toward bills and managed to save a little for the day when the unemployment ran out. I am now only $2,500 in debt and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I need now is a job.

I know that if I can't help with my share of the expenses, I won't be on the street. I also know that Rich will take care of my car insurance, gas, phone bill and the groceries. I refuse to let him help with the $2,500 I owe. It will just have to wait. What are they going to do...garnish my wages! HA! Aren't I funny today!

Rich's industry is usually a good indicator of the economy. He is a fork lift mechanic. Just before the end of the year he was able to get 40 hours a week. Last week he only clocked 30 hours. Yesterday he was out of work by 11:30 am. He thinks that the work he was getting was just year end budget spending. I hope that's not true. Now that the income tax has gone so high for IL, it will probably get worse. We have lost allot of industry here. The economy just has to come back enough that he can sell this house, then we can get out of here.

I haven't been called for work at the neighbor hood printing company for quite a while now. I stopped in to say hi and I'm still available. It was dead in there. Every time I go by, the only cars in the lot are the 3 full timers.

All in all, we are lucky. Neither of us has substantial payments, other than the house and my $2,500 debt. If he lost his job he could pay off the house and we could make it on his unemployment and his savings till he found work. He has good job skills and I am sure he would find something soon.

I used to have what I called an escape fund. When rich talked me into selling my house and moving in here, I told him that house was my security...a place to go if I needed to go. My escape fund is gone. I'm betting I won't need it.