The pain of it all.

Years ago I had problems with my back. I was told that I have some kinda disc problem in my lower and upper spine in 4 places, bone spurs towards the top and tendinitis in the top of my spine. I have been in bad shape since Friday. As unbelievable as this sounds to me, I actually have pain going into my groin. I'm sure it's a disc problem because it started in my lower spine like something was being pinched. Almost like a pair of pliers had a hold of me. I didn't help it yesterday and because of that, today it is worse. I went for a ride yesterday...I was going to stay home but I just couldn't do it. I decided to see if I could get my leg over and lift the bike. Getting on and off was the tough part. Once I was on I asked Rich for my riding gear and off we went. Very bad!!!! I have no insurance and no real job that affords me to see a doctor so I'm stuck waiting this one out.

This is why I worked so hard to get out of the bindery. It seemed like I was always in some kinda therapy for my back.

I really got it pissed off now and I have to get into the basement and get my laundry done and this house is a mess. I keep thinking "I'll feel better tomorrow and then I'll get er done." The house will wait but I need laundry done. I need to study for tomorrow night's final exam and it's real hard to concentrate when your in pain. If you could see me, you wouldn't know if you should laugh or cry. I am all hunched over and walking very slowly. I need drugs!!!

I think I might have some upstairs left over from my gallbladder surgery in 2008. I'm off to give em a try.

More space than anyone needs

Today we tried to clean the new fire barn but the contractors were still there so we couldn't get much done. We did all the windows and left for another job. The second job was a single family home listed for $4,600,000 home. We actually got lost looking for each other. When we got separated we tried to yell to find each other and we couldn't hear each other. Who could possibly need that much space for one family? Four of the many bedrooms had fireplaces and I counted at least three fireplaces on the first floor. The laundry room was like a small Laundromat. What ever these people do for a living...I want that job.

Speaking of jobs...I have an interview on Wednesday. Someone from the job fair that I went to a couple weeks ago called me this morning. Woo Hoo! Wish me luck!

Easter without my grandkids.

It's Easter and I don't get to see my grandkids today. What a bummer!

My oldest son is downsizing to a smaller house and has been working on the new house building a 4Th bedroom so everyone has a room. He is remodeling the kitchen and bath, and making repairs to the old house for sale. My Daughter-in-law's insurance agency has lost business with the bad economy and my son is a Mortgage Originator. Not allot of mortgages these days. Not like when they bought the big house anyway. By downsizing, they are cutting their mortgage in half. They found a house in foreclosure in the same school district.

They decided to go to WI Dells for Easter...He said to get a break, but they go every year. I think it's because they get so tired of winter they just need a water park to remind themselves of summer, just to get through till summer really kicks in. As long as my grandkids are enjoying it…I can see them when they get back. I have Easter bags this year for the two older ones and baskets for the two younger ones. I think they outgrow the baskets but not the candy.

My youngest son is spending the day at his dad's. The two boys haven't spoken to their dad in at least two years. My kids don't like the step mom. My ex used to be real close to the two oldest grand kids and when he met her, he made her the most important thing in his life. This did not settle well with the boys. My two youngest granddaughters don't even know him. The eight year old asked me why her dad and uncle have red hair and her and I have blond hair. She said she knows why her mom has black hair...it's because Grampa Torres has black hair and Gramma Barb has brown hair...in her words, "that's almost black" I told her she gets her blond hair from me...her dad and uncle get their red hair from their dad. She looks at me real strange and looks at Rich. I could see the wheels turning, she thinks of Rich as her grampa. She knows she has another grampa but she doesn't remember him. I said "not Grampa Rich...Grampa Mike" She said "Well,I don't know him...who is he anyway?" I told her he is her dad's dad and that Rich is her dad’s step dad. Now she’s really confused. I told her that I used to be married to Grampa Mike and we had two kids...Dad and Uncle Bryan...then we got divorced and I met Rich, and Grampa Mike met Kelly. Then the next question..."Why did you and my dad's dad get a divorce?" Still not calling him Grampa Mike. To my relief, my son stepped in and said, "Enough with the questions....save some for another time."

My ex’s wife called me a couple weeks ago and asked me to talk to my youngest about calling his dad because he was going through a depresion and the youngest is "more easy going and more reasonable." I have to agree that she's right on that account. She thought that if he would talk to his dad, the oldest one might follow.

I had a heart to heart with my youngest one about it when he was here working on my car last week. When I brought up the subject, I told him that I had heard his dad was going through a depression and it might be a good time to call him and work on their relationship. My ex worked at the same place I worked at and was laid off the same time I was. He has had no luck finding a job because he never graduated high school and he lives in an area where there is simply no work. He has been working at McDonald’s part time but that won't pay the bills. My son's reaction was "He doesn't want anything to do with us, he made his choice. He quit calling us and returning our calls, we didn't abandon him." The truth is…the new wife didn't like my oldest son. She felt he had too much influence on dad. My ex could never see any wrong in our kids and this made the new wife and my oldest son but heads. Both of them are stubborn and unforgiving. He was used to having his dad around and blamed her for his absence. She felt he had too much control over his dad. My ex was not good at saying no to the boys and this didn't help the situation with his new wife. I don't think it has anything to do with one or the other not calling, it was more because everytime they did talk it was more strained untill the calls just stopped.

I told him that his dad thinks he wants nothing to do with him and that he won’t call because of fear of rejection. I reminded him that his dad lacked our "I can do" attitude and would not do anything that he thought he might fail at...including calling you. I told him I didn't believe for one minute he stopped loving them just because he got remarried because I know he loved them too much for that to ever happen. He said he knew I was right and had been thinking about calling him but didn’t want to get his wife. I told him he needed to get over that. His dad never told him who he should or shouldn't love and he doesn’t have the right to make that decision for his dad. He needs to make a stronger effort to deal with her. He doesn’t have to like her but for his dad, he needs to get along.

Apparently it worked. I got a call from my ex’s wife and she was asking for my oldest son’s number. She said that Bryan had called and while talking he convinced my ex that if he wanted a relationship with my oldest, he would have to be the one to call him.

My ex is starting a new job. He went to a truck driving school and got a CDL and is starting this coming week with a trucking company his sister drives for. My youngest son has wanted to do that but hasn’t had the money for the school.

I called my youngest son to see what he was doing for Easter and he said he was going to his dad’s to get reconnected and so that his daughter (5 years old) could get to know her grampa. He told me about his plans to do what his dad did and drive with him. He sold all of his tools to pay for school and is registered to start in late May. I feel good about getting them back together but today I miss my kids and grandkids but I can share…they need to have their dad in their lives and he needs them. Hopefully my oldest will come around too.

Today we are going to a friend’s house for dinner. I am taking a Key lime pie, deviled eggs and green been casserole.

I wish my ex well in his new job, I think it's my turn now. I only worked for the one cleaner last week. The other was jerking me around so I decided to call a freind who lives in the same small town as him and he told me he knew him and that his brother did some heating and air work for him about a year ago and never got paid. Me being a person of my word, I had already told the other cleaning service that I had made a commitment to work Tue-Thu. He scheduled around that and I ended up missing out on working for him because the other guy jerked me around. I only worked two days. On Monday I helped with a $1,250,000.00 house. this place was 12,000 sq ft. Friday we were at a remodeled forclosure...an older two story home. Monday we are doing a fire house that was just built.

Happy Easter to all! Don't eat too many eggs...and if you do, don't fluff the blankets.

My car is, what it is.

Considering this car was totalled...I don't think it's half bad. I'm glad I decided to keep it. My son was suppose to bring the dash and air bags out last weekend but we needed to be there for our friend who lost his son. He came out today, and him and Rich put in the air bags and sensors and it is now safe. The car is nine years old and it looks better than some newer cars out there on the road. The hood and fenders were not replaced...just kinda tweaked back into shape...the black bumper even looks like it should be black. We decided not to paint it to save money. This is my run till it don't run no more car. you may have noticed the card board rolled up and stuffed between the dash and the passenger door. The covering came off the side of the dash and the plastic parts that it screws into broke. I siliconed it back in pace and stuck the cardboard in to hold it firm till the silicone sets. My son forgot the new seat belt so he will be back nest week to bring that. Till then...my driver side belt is just sewn to fit me. Now I need to wash it.

On the job front...I saw an ad for house cleaning help in toward the city. I decided to "cold call" every cleaning service in a 15 mile area and landed two jobs. I start tomorrow. No bennies but it's money till I can find something else. The temp service sure as hell isn't finding me anything. Tomorrow and Friday it is a new construction residential house...thank God, no nasty toilets. This guy only does new construction. Next week it is a newly built fire house. On Tue, Wed, and Thu, I work for the other guy...getting homes ready for painting...laying tarps, taping, and running errands. I am going to have to decide which one I want to work for. I have been honest with both of them and if I work my ass off maybe one of them will offer me a sweet deal. Or so I hope. We'll see. I've been thinking about putting an ad on Craig's list to tutor students in Excel.

Half of everything I make from here on in is going into my new car fund. When I get a real job and can afford payments, I should have a nice downer. I've gone without for so long, I've learned to get by pretty good with very little. I want to have 1/2 down on my next new car.

As far as school goes...I am signed up for two Internet classes for the summer semester. MS Access II and MS PowerPoint II. Sooner or later...l'll get that office job.

ABCD - Will You Take Part?

ABCD - Will You Take Part?

Maybe you would like to join in with this.....

A Bloggers Centerline Day, or ABCD, will take place on Sunday 1st May 2011.

The plan is to inspire as many bloggers as possible to go outside and take a photograph of themselves on this day, wherever they are in the world. The photo can be creative, arty, contain more than one person, be in any type of location and can contain anything else you like. It must however contain the centerline of a road and at least part of you, the blogger.

There are 5 rules....

Rule 1 - the picture must be taken on 1st May 2011.

Rule 2 - the picture must be of yourself, and you must be a person that publishes a blog. You can include whatever else you like in the picture, including other people if you wish.

Rule 3 - the picture must include the centerline of a road.

Rule 4 – you should publish the picture on your blog on 1st May 2011, along with a few words about the picture and why you chose that location or pose.

Rule 5 - when you have posted the picture on your own blog, put a comment on http://garysusatour.blogspot.com/2011/04/abcd-will-you-take-part.html and include in that comment the address of your own blog post containing your own picture.

Gary France will then pick his favourite photos and publish these as being the winners. There will be a prize of $100 awarded to the overall single winner, as chosen by Gary.

In order to get this event known as widely as possible, please copy and paste this posting onto your own blog, including the title. Please do that today!

As a reminder to yourself to take the photo and post it, put an entry into your diary for 1st May 2011.

Let’s see if we can get as any people to join in as possible.

Sad week.

Friday we went to a wake for the son of a friend. It's so sad to see people bury their kids. He was just 31 and committed suicide. He died on my birthday. He was just seven weeks older than my youngest son. For someone to be in so much pain to do something that drastic. Saturday was the funeral and today we went for our first ride of the season. It seemed like it did some good for him to get out and ride. I'm not sure I would be able to ride if it was my son. I would not be able to think straight enough to ride. I would have to be on the back. I guess everyone deals with grief differently. We rode to Naplate to his sister's bar and they joined us for a ride to Utica to get some dinner and then through Starved Rock. The drive through Starved Rock is all twisty, curvy roads. I was the third in a line of seven bikes taking on a 15 mph right curve. His ex-brother in law...who rode with us...really pissed me off at this point. We were all single file through the curves...as it should be...and he came around me on my right side. I heard his bike over my shoulder and couldn't believe he was actually passing me on a curve...especially on my right on a right curve. I was right behind Rich with out allot of space between us so it's not like I was going any slower than any one else. I like to take the curves...outside, inside, outside...it widens the curve so that I can get up just little more speed. This was the first time he rode with us so to assume I would not use the whole lane is just insane. He told us he has been riding for along time and has rode as far as CA more than once. He must not ride with others much. He kept changing riding positions. I wont be riding with him again...at least not without giving him a not so nice lecture on group riding etiquette. This happened on our way home or he would have heard about it today. We all started heading toward home trying to beat the tornado warnings, splitting off at different roads because we all live in different towns. We did manage to stay dry.

Car Updates and a question????

I've been talked into replacing the airbags and driver side seat belt assembly. My son, Bryan (youngest offspring) is bringing them today so Bryan and Rich will be installing them today. We found out that the driver side seat belt assembly is trashed. Apparently there is a charge that goes off with a front end collision that snugs you to the seat and once that charge has blown, it renders the seat belt useless. Rich found that out when he was test driving the car to check for any unseen problems. When he slammed on the brakes hard, the seat belt did not stop him. Last Thursday we took my sewing machine out by the car and we customized the belt to fit me. My son hears about this and was not happy, he is bringing safety features and dash out of a Cavalier at the junk yard he works at today. My concern is that since the computer thinks the airbags and seat belts have been deployed, they wont work anyway. Does anyone have any knowledge on the subject. It's a 2002 2-door Cavalier Coup. Since my son is so eager to help out I have decided to cook steaks on the grill, potato salad and I baked a cherry pie last night. I actually found Porterhouse on sale for $4.99 a pound. I know that he can't afford steak so this will be a nice treat for him. I can't afford steak either...but at that price...why not show my appreciation. Two friends are coming later for dinner. They have been having us over nearly every Sunday so time to return the favor. How better than with steak? I bought three steaks and when Rich heard how cheap they were, he stopped and picked up 6 more and told me to invite them too. Now we have four to freeze for later. I'll send my son home with some left over potato salad and some lasagna too. When I make lasagna, I it's always too much for us so I freeze some. He can't tell Michael (oldest offspring) or he won't have it. I would make a pan when they were young and head off to work...2ND shift...I would come home and it would be gone. Three people...or so I thought...my ex and two kids. A couple years ago I went to a party at Michael's house and he asked me to bring some, one of his friends from the old neighborhood was there and was so excited about my lasagna being there. He said he thought he would never taste it again. I looked at him and said, "what do you mean...again?" A little while latter, one more old friend came in, looked at the food and looked at Michael...Mom's lasagna??? Michael just smiled. I gave him a look and said you too! They all started laughing. Turns out that every time I made it, all of the kids in the neighborhood kids helped eat it. One heard about it and the news traveled. gotta get to my tater salad...it always tastes best after sitting in the fridge for a while...gives the flavors a chance to mingle.