Sunday, April 10, 2011
Sad week.
Friday we went to a wake for the son of a friend. It's so sad to see people bury their kids. He was just 31 and committed suicide. He died on my birthday. He was just seven weeks older than my youngest son. For someone to be in so much pain to do something that drastic. Saturday was the funeral and today we went for our first ride of the season. It seemed like it did some good for him to get out and ride. I'm not sure I would be able to ride if it was my son. I would not be able to think straight enough to ride. I would have to be on the back. I guess everyone deals with grief differently. We rode to Naplate to his sister's bar and they joined us for a ride to Utica to get some dinner and then through Starved Rock. The drive through Starved Rock is all twisty, curvy roads. I was the third in a line of seven bikes taking on a 15 mph right curve. His ex-brother in law...who rode with us...really pissed me off at this point. We were all single file through the curves...as it should be...and he came around me on my right side. I heard his bike over my shoulder and couldn't believe he was actually passing me on a curve...especially on my right on a right curve. I was right behind Rich with out allot of space between us so it's not like I was going any slower than any one else. I like to take the curves...outside, inside, outside...it widens the curve so that I can get up just little more speed. This was the first time he rode with us so to assume I would not use the whole lane is just insane. He told us he has been riding for along time and has rode as far as CA more than once. He must not ride with others much. He kept changing riding positions. I wont be riding with him again...at least not without giving him a not so nice lecture on group riding etiquette. This happened on our way home or he would have heard about it today. We all started heading toward home trying to beat the tornado warnings, splitting off at different roads because we all live in different towns. We did manage to stay dry.
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I recently lost a friend to suicide too, he was divorced and left behind a 12 year old daughter. Hung himself in his office. He was in the mid 40's. So sad that someone would have to resort to an act like this, so final. Our prayers are with him.
ReplyDeleteBB:
ReplyDeleteso sad that someone would decide upon this desperate measure, and that no one would have noticed any warning signs. Often times you reflect on the past and wonder if you could have changed the outcome if only he had reached out.
Perhaps the ride was therapy . . . a way to leave emotions behind and to gather your thoughts, if only for a brief time
bob
Riding the Wet Coast
Sorry for your friend I've lost friends like this and the grief you feel mixes with guilt and the thought of "could you have stopped this." Sucks when folks make assumptions the first time you ride with them, happens to my wife all the time and all she wants to do is kick their ass!
ReplyDeleteGeorge, Bobscoot, Time to Fly,
ReplyDeleteI talked to our friends last night and they have been up and down. They both feel twinges of guilt because he has been troubled all his life. They both tried to reach him on a constant basis and they thought he was in a good place even if only for a little while. He had been doing better.
His life has been up and down since he was a kid and he finally just gave in. It's one of those things that's hard to understand. He was very smart and very deep. They found poetry on his computer and a 2 1/2 page goodbye letter.
His mother had just been released after a break down a couple days before this happened. A bottle of her meds went missing the same time he did. They are guessing he took them but they won't know for sure till the autopsy. He and his mother both suffered from depression all their lives.
Time To Fly,
Is it just a woman thing? You said it happens to your wife all the time...they never try to pass Rich like that.
PS...thanks for joining in.